I Fall To Pieces
all of which could be used to build something new
In January I started a weekly art class through the adult ed program at local public high school. I have learned that getting out some watercolors or colored pencils is a fail-proof means of unhooking my brain from the matrix for a few minutes, and this class – “Collage, Assemblage and Paper Sculpture” – sounded like just the way to do it.
Our first assignment on the first night was to use our watercolors to fill a big 11” by 15” inch piece of white paper, with anything at all. That night, along with my paints, I happened to bring with me a freshly-filled mental bucket of rage, over ICE in Minneapolis, attacks on voter rights, racism from the Oval Office, you name it. Without much thought, I pulled out red, orange, purple, and pink paints and just slammed that paint onto the page, going over them with different brushes and making a mess and taking no care at all.
As the hour of painting passed, predictably, my fury dissipated – I even found myself reach for a bit of happy green. But when we did the “gallery walk” at the end of the class, where each student talks for a few moments about what they’ve created and learned that night, I just said pointed to the paper and said, “I was really mad when I got here, and it shows.”
In a later class, we went back to those first abstract paintings. This time, we cut them into strips, then cut the strips into small squares, then we began to glue the squares onto a new sheet of paper. Again, there was no pattern to follow, just the individual directives of our creative minds.
And I found to my astonishment that my angry painting from Night 1, when deconstructed and reassembled, became the most cheerful artwork I’ve ever made. It’s full of bright colors, and lots of interesting nuances from brushstrokes and spatters. Each time I picked up one of the little painted squares to glue onto the paper, I was surprised. There was so much unexpected beauty. Serendipitously, the few squares with green paint on them ended in an upward climbing pattern. It looks to me like a shoot about to burst forth from the muck.
This essay isn’t about my art class.
It’s about using the propulsive energy of our anger right now to make something new and beautiful, instead of just swimming around in the fury and frustration and Mean Reds. It’s not about denying the anger so many of us (but still not all of us? HOW?) are feeling, but recognizing that we’re more than that, hold more creativity than that, and deserve more delight than that. It’s about taking the now-torn-down and exposed social systems around us that, let’s face it, weren’t serving everyone equitably in the first place, and building up something brand new and better from the rubble.
The anger is unavoidable. What we do with it could be beautiful.
Furious about ICE? Get plugged into your local mutual aid network now, so you can be part of the solution if/when they come to your town. Enraged about Kansas taking away driver’s licenses from trans citizens with zero notice period, so that overnight they can’t legally get to work or doctor’s appointments or the grocery store? Check in with an LGBTQ+ advocacy organization nearby to see what help they need for vulnerable people in your own zip code. Incensed about the lack of accountability in the US over predators in the Epstein files, while huge dominoes fall in every other country? Call your reps and demand that THEY demand action - and while you’re at it, remind them that only Congress is allowed to declare war against another country, in case they need a refresher on the Constitution.
Turn that anger into an action that helps someone else. Lean into your beautiful humanity.
One final thought. I have a close and very tenured friend who celebrated a big milestone birthday at the end of February, the first of my close college crew tipping into our new decade. Jill is a wonderful artist herself, and has always encouraged my efforts to tiptoe back into the world of making visual art.
She’s had a crazy season of challenges lately, and I wanted to commemorate her big birthday with something special. So, hoping it wasn’t too self-serving, I had my art class project framed for her. Jill’s thrilled response – and that was before I told her I had made it – made my lil’ artwork that much more satisfying to me.
And to think it all started with me be so, so pissed off.
Hopeful Actions This Month
Amplify what the media isn’t covering. We’re being told by the administration not to trust our own eyes, which is ironic because there is so much citizen video documenting bad government actors. But increasingly, the algorithms of social media companies complicit with the administration bury those posts. I, and the people I know who also share these types of stories frequently, have seen a big drop off in the number of viewers of our posts in the past month.
So consider this me handing the baton to you, who the algorithm may not have found yet. Can you amplify these stories to your network by liking and sharing them?
If social media sharing isn’t your bag, here’s a great handout I found that I’ve been distributing at our Saturday protests and keeping in my glovebox and sending via email when people ask what they can do to make a difference. It all helps widen the ripples.
Help Minnesotans make the rent. March rent was due this week – and despite the headlines about a “draw dawn”, there are still twice as many ICE officers in Minnesota as typically cover all of Minnesota, Nebraska, Iowa and both Dakotas. So yeah, vulnerable people in Minnesota still need our help to meet their basic needs. Check out https://www.standwithminnesota.com/ for ideas of how you can help. Even a $5 or $10 donation makes a difference. I have learned that nothing makes me feel more abundance in my own life than realizing I have enough left over to help someone else.
Firm up your plans for March 28. See you on the streets for the No Kings rallies! We need to show up and show out in huge numbers. LMK your best sign ideas, I need some inspiration…
Make some art! Do what I did: fill a big piece of thick paper with color using whatever art supplies you have on hand – crayons, colored pencils, housepaint. Now cut that big piece into smaller shapes – squares, triangles, freehand squiggles, whatever floats your boat. Get another piece of paper and glue the little pieces onto it in some order. You will have just had the most relaxing 90 minutes of your week.
Remember: Good Things Are Still Happening
The World Health Organization confirmed that Brazil has eliminated mother-to-child transmission of HIV, the most populous country to hit this milestone.
It’s officially the year of the Fire Horse, but there is also good news for literal Fire Tigers .
Researchers can now diagnose endometriosis via a non-invasive blood test, for faster and earlier detection. Until this new test was developed, it could take EIGHT TO FOURTEEN YEARS to diagnose this condition, which affects 10% of women in their reproductive years.
Olympic Gold winning skater Alysa Liu has Oakland roots, went to Oakland School of the Arts, and skates at the Oakland Skate Center. And now she has free ice cream for life from Fenton’s who also created her a new flavor in her honor: “Alysa’s Gold is a caramel ice cream with crushed Golden Oreos and a caramel swirl.” Town business, baby.
An octogenarian farmer declined a $15 million offer to sell his family farm to data center developers and instead, sold it for $1.9million to a land preservation program. Asked why, he said it’s because he “‘respects God’s green Earth.’”
The UK’s first geothermal power plant, in Cornwall, has just begun operations and will create power for 10,000 homes using hot water from deep underground to create renewable electricity.
The Pope said no to the invitation to join the “Board of Peace” for Gaza, saying that the crisis situation is better handled by the U.N.
And finally: I love The Pitt, and Nurse Dana is my favorite. So is actress Katherine LaNasa’s perspective on life.
Something To Read
Every day, every day, every day I read the book
Have you ever come across a phrase in your Notes app on your phone that makes you wonder if you maybe had a stroke and forgot about it? In December I was scrolling while waiting for a BART train and saw “Hounding Xenobe Purvis” and, wow, none of those words rang a single bell. So I Googled and remembered… not a confessional journal entry! A book recommendation from someone’s end of year list!
Loved this lil’ weird gothic story billed as “The Crucible meets The Virgin Suicides”, about sisters in a tiny village in 18th century England who may or may not turn into a pack of wild dogs at night. It’s got Life of Pi fairy tale vibes – are the dogs real or aren’t they? And it’s the perfect allegory for our times. Keep disrespecting women. See how that works out for you.
Something to Hear
New and old sounds that’ll make you shake your hair
In that I am one myself and it only comes around every 60 years, I was a bit more excited about the Lunar New Year of the Fire Horse than your average bear (which is not one of the animals of the Chinese Zodiac). I made a banger playlist for February, containing only songs about horses, fire, the moon, red, gold, performed by bands with Horse in the name and finally, Bad Bunny, ayy. Here’s one of my favorites, from Chicago’s own Horsegirl.
One Last Thing
Just before this post was going to publish, I found out a story I wrote about the time my sister and I took our elderly mom and aunt to the Lilydale Spiritual Assembly in Western New York has won a Solas Award for Travel Writing - specifically, the bronze medal in the Humor Category. Considering my sister and I still laugh about that trip, all these years later, I’m particularly gratified. Take a look at the full list of amazing travel writers - I’m looking forward to making my way through their writing at TravelersTales.com. You should bookmark that website for all your travel and storytelling inspiration!
